…and this was the other moment that made the episode for me.
All through that funeral, grrlpup and I were saying, “There’s no one there. It’s a cop funeral, and there’s no one there.” (Grrlpup spent fifteen years working for the local cop shop. Do you know how many people turn out for an officer’s funeral? For the very biggest ones, the Bureau rents the mega-church in Clackamas: there is no church large enough inside of Portland city limits, you have to go to the suburbs to get a church big enough.) It is a cop funeral, and there is no one there.
Because he died from suicide. Which is allegedly a dishonorable death. A coward’s death. A cheater’s death. If it’s suicide, you don’t get to be buried in consecrated ground. If it’s suicide, you don’t get an honor guard.
I hate that sentiment SO FUCKING MUCH. People don’t commit suicide lightly. The personal hells that people go through, leading up to their suicides: there’s nothing cowardly there. And especially not in how long they tend to have endured beforehand. The decision isn’t easy. It’s never fucking easy.
(All of this bullshit about people who commit suicide don’t deserve our respect? I’m convinced it’s people turning their how could I have failed them? inability-to-deal agony back onto the deceased. When in pain, strike out. If it’s his fault, if he’s to blame, if he’s in the wrong, then it’s not me. If he was weak, then I didn’t fail him.)
And it sure as hell isn’t like suicide nullifies everything someone ever did in one’s life. As one of the officers pointed out in the ep, Crosetti had years of service, he had once been shot in the line of duty. However he died — and he hadn’t disgraced his uniform when he died — he had earned his honor guard.
…and so the show gave him an honor guard. A one-man honor guard, to be sure, but an honor guard.
Because he lived and then he died, and that deserves our respect.
Probably my favorite scene from this great series. I always get chills running down my spine seeing Pembleton standing on those stairs, saluting.